


That life Tony talked about

by The13Forever



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Endgame, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-09-27 20:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20413615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The13Forever/pseuds/The13Forever
Summary: A story about Bucky getting to experience the life he deserves to have after everything he went through.(Sorry, I suck at summaries...)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I'm writing and posting, so I hope you enjoy it. I'll do my best to make it something you like. There is some mild wearing along the story.  
I'm sorry if there are mistakes throughout. This story is not beta'd.  
Thanks for giving this story a shot!

My grandfather was looking at the wide expanse of the serene lake. I was hidden in the trees to his left, right where he had asked me to wait. So I did. It didn’t take long for Sam or Bucky to notice my grandfather sitting in the small rock bench, his back facing them. Bucky was the one to notice him and it was pure luck that he turned around. I had told Papa that he’d be hurt when he realized he had just got his best friend back only to lose him in the past. Papa had been so sad when he said that that he had gotten misty-eyed. It hadn’t been that long ago that Nana had died and it was still a heavy weight in our hearts. Because of that, no matter how happy I knew he’d be to see his friends again, after so many decades, I had begged him to let me go too. Mom had said it would be good for the two of us, and that way Papa didn’t have to go alone.

  
So here I was. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting for Para to give the shield to Sam, to pass on his legacy.  
Sam approached Papa while Bucky waited a few steps back and I couldn’t contain my curiosity. I walked up to him. His profile told me he was resigned but happy that his best friend had had a life. A good life, one that he deserved. The soldier certainly heard me walk up to him, but he did not turn. His eyes were still fixed on the scene before him. Something kept me from speaking, but I didn’t want to hide from Papa’s friends.

  
Papa opened his bag and gave the shield to Sam and he looked back at Bucky. I saw the surprise register in his eyes when he saw me there then look at Papa. Then back at me. I just smiled, feeling my skirt flutter in the wind. Papa turned around and looked at me, a big smile on his own lips and mine split right open.

  
“She yours, Captain?” Sam asked, eyes still glued to me.

  
Papa got up and walked up to us with Sam, who carried the shield on his arm. “My youngest grandchild.” Bucky looked at me, the tiniest smile on his lips.

  
“She takes after Carter.” He said, turning his eyes on Papa. “She doesn’t share your ugly mug.” He joked and I gave a little laugh. His tone was sad but he was still smiling. Papa laughed too and hugged him tightly.

  
“I’ve missed you, Bucky.” He said after a few moments where much sniffling could be heard. The other man mumbled something but I couldn’t hear.

  
Sam came to my side. “It’s nice to meet you, kiddo.” His smile was sweeter than Bucky’s. “I’m Sam Wilson.” He extended his hand.”  
“I know. Papa told me all about you.” I smiled too, shaking his hand. “I’m Natasha.” Sam’s eyes bulged and he quickly looked at his old friend. “Yeah, in memory of her. He wanted it to be closer to this time…” Papa placed a hand on my shoulder.  
“I’m James.” My smile turned softer and smaller at that.

“What, no Bucky?” I joked extending my hand to him.

  
Finally, a happy smile drew on his lips. He took my hand but instead of shaking it he kissed my knuckles. Very old-fashioned. “Yeah, Bucky. Bucky is good.”

  
“I hope you too get along.” Papa said to the pair, gripping their shoulders. “Don’t forget to live. And don’t be strangers, come see us sometime.” He said in lieu of goodbye. “Come on, sweetheart. They need to rest now.” I nodded and wound my arm around Papa’s.  
“It was really nice to meet you. I get we’ll see you around.” I smiled at them and turned with Papa.

  
I half expected one of them to stop us and ask us to stay a little longer, but they didn’t. I think they were still in shock and reeling from everything that had happened. It was understandable, the world had ended and started again, they had been lost for five years only to come back to an epic fight. Looking back I saw their exhausted forms close together, Sam still holding the shield in one arm and Bucky with both hands on his coat pocket, staring at us as we made our way to the car. I turned back to the road and leaned my head on Papa’s shoulder.

  
“Bucky looked so sad…” I whispered.

  
“I know. I hated it. I hated to leave the two of them. But they do deserve to live their life now, don’t you think?” the smile he turned to me was small, sad and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself just as much as me. I gave Papa a reassuring smile and his eyes crinkled at the corners.

  
“Of course, Papa!” he kissed the top of my head and entered the car. Before I took my place behind the wheel, I looked back one last time. Bucky and Sam were still there. Sam waved and I waved back. Then I drove us home.

\---x---

Soon enough the world came back to its usual pace. It was somehow easier to go back to normal now that the entire population was back than it was to figure out how to move on from their loss. Traffic became chaotic again. Crime started up again. And I was caught in a back heist while I waited to solve some issues in my account.

  
One moment I was talking with my big brother and the next I was whispering “Call the cops, the bang is under attack.” As I went down with the rest of the people. I disconnected my phone not giving Nate the time to say more.

  
“You know the drill, people, no triggering silent alarms unless you want to die and talk all these lovely people with you. Phones in the bag being passed around.” One of the ten men dressed in all black said. “Behave and we all leave this place with our loved intact. Try anything, play hero and everyone will meet their maker. I don’t think anyone wants that after such a catastrophe, do you?” every single person shook their head. People had lost enough.

  
There was a lot of soft crying going around. I just leaned back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. These thieves were taking their sweet ass time. I was feeling a little dizzy looking up at the skylights like that, but I wasn’t in the mood to care as we waited. Then I saw something, a shadow, passing over the glass I narrowed my eyes, but it didn’t happen again. Maybe I was imagining things.

  
Not even a minute later, a noise came from the back of the building and the six men still with us in the lobby grabbed whoever was closer to them. A gun pressed into my temple while the cold edge of a knife pressed into my neck. I felt blood trickle down into my shirt’s cleavage and arrested all movement.

  
The Winter Soldier walked in first. Bucky was dressed similar to the way he did back when he was Hydra. Black leather covering every inch of his body, probably reinforced too; mouth guard, glasses like the one Sam wore, and a big and kind of scary rifle in hand, pointing in between thieves. He couldn’t take any of them out, hidden was they were behind hostages. The one behind me had stooped so that only his face was barely visible about the top of my head, and out of the corner of my eye I saw another one in a similar position.

  
Nana had taught me to fight and even fire guns. I wasn’t helpless but the way I was pressed between knife and gun didn’t encourage any movement. Nor had the time before! I couldn’t risk the life of the fifty people with me when I knew I could never take the six men with us out in time. So I waited for Bucky to make his move. He didn’t, just stood at the other end of the bank, gun trained on no one. The good thing was no one else was moving either.

  
The knife pressed a little harder against my throat and I became Bucky’s target. “I suggest you forget this ever happened and leave. Unless you want this pretty girl to paint the floors in a new color.” Said the one behind me. Someone sobbed loudly.

  
“Or any of these people. You can’t take us all out at the same time.” a taunting pause from the leader, who appeared on my right, hidden behind a counter. “What are you going to do, soldier?”

  
I licked my lips. “Shoot them.” I said. The gun was still trained on me. I got no reaction.

  
Suddenly smoke filled the room, coming from everywhere at once. People screamed and I felt them scramble around towards the door. That was all the distraction needed. In the deep black smoke visibility was non-existent. I bucked my hips back, grabbed the wrists of my captor and escaped his embrace. He was surprised enough that it was easy. I heard shots being fired and people screaming and crying out, but I could not focus on that. The man swiped his blade in my direction, and I was too close still, and it cut my clothes and the flesh of my torso. I bit back a cry and drove my knee up between his legs at the same time I slammed a fist in his windpipe. Good thing I did because he had his crotch protected. The gunfire blindly before a bullet hit him in the shoulder and the man stumbled. It didn’t penetrate his armor, but it made him stumble into the sofa, overturning it. As quickly as I could I went to his gun hand and stepped on his wrist. With a grunt of pain, his hand opened just as the other swiped for my leg, cutting me again. My other foot went to his neck, cutting off circulation.

  
The smoke had cleared enough that I could see the chaos around me. Sam and Bucky had knocked unconscious all attackers and the latter was beside me, placing a hand to my cut midsection, just as the man beneath my foot passed out, the knife falling from limp fingers.

  
“Are you alright?” he asked, voice tight with concern. I had seen neither men since that day at the lake.

  
“Peachy! You?” I responded.

  
He snorted. “Perfect. I’m not bleeding.” He pulled me away from the man, still applying pressure to my torso.

  
“Me? I’m fine!” I wasn’t. adrenaline was ebbing fast and my brain had at last time to catch up with my injuries. My knees gave out. “Or not…” I murmured.

  
“Falcon!” screamed Bucky as I put my arms around his neck for support. “Tie this one up! I’ll open the doors!” I looked around as my vision blurred. There seemed to be some scrapes and bruises in some people but no fatal injuries as Bucky picked me up and took me to the doors, that opened with no explosion to the street filled with people: cops, paramedics and civilians. People never failed to appear in times of crisis to gawk.

  
Sam stayed behind as paramedics rushed to us. Bucky said something to the woman that brought the gurney, but I felt myself losing my grip on the awake world. Before I could slip into darkness, I griped the back to Bucky’s neck and his head snapped to mine. “Stay with me.”

  
“Always.” He said, laying me down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I didn't have time to post this past weekend...  
Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

I remember nothing from that moment on. Next thing I knew I was waking up in what had to be a hospital room. It was the middle of the night, but the room was full. I was in a private room and it had a chair, a reclining couch, and another bed. Papa was sleeping upright on the bed along with my brother, who had his head on his shoulder. Sam was at the foot of the bed with his head on the mattress. That had to be uncomfortable, he was going to be aching when he woke up…

On my other side was Bucky. Wide awake and looking at me. Holding my hand. His was warm and dry and callused. I gave him a sleepy smile and turned my body to him, trying to not disturb Sam’s sleep.

“Hey.” I whispered. He smiled back, a small and genuine smile. He leaned nearer the bed.

“Welcome back.” The pad of his thumb caressed my knuckles. “How are you feeling?”

“Nothing hurts. It just aches a little, like when you push your muscles too far, you know?” I was expecting pain, the feeling of stitches pulling at the skin. Nothing felt like that, I felt mostly alright. Just sore.

Bucky’s free hand pulled a lock of hair away from my face as his eyes roamed my face. “The perks of being part of the Avengers family, what remains of us, is that you get the best treatment. something similar to what Nebula used to heal Tony after Thanos stabbed him.” I nodded, my eyes falling closed. “You had us all worried.” He murmured.

“Lost a lot of blood?” I opened my eyes again to see him nod. “Took out the bad guy, though.” That earned me a huff of laughter.

For a long moment, we didn’t speak and felt myself drift back to sleep. His words had me opening my eyes again, with some difficulty. “You remind me of Steve when he was younger… And you definitely have Peggy’s good sense!” another raspy laugh.

“I thought you said I didn’t have Papa’s ugly mug.” I joked.

“And you don’t, the only things you got from him, physically, were the hair and eyes. Everything else is Peggy.” His eyes roamed down my body as if he could see beneath the sheet covering me. “But you have his good heart and strength. You have a lot more from him than I’d expected…” his voice was a distant whisper.

I touched his face, bringing his back to reality, to me, and he locked his gaze with mine. “You miss him, don’t you?” his eyes were glassy and he only nodded, swallowing. “Why didn’t you come around? We were all expecting you and Sam to meet us someday…” a letter with our address, our family tree, and some facts had been inside the shield’s bag.

“I don’t know.” His voice was rough. “We had to reconstruct everything and we kept postponing it… We should not have waited but a problem like this to arise to be together.” His eyes were on Papa and Sam before turning to me. “We’ll make it to this Sunday’s lunch though. I promised Steve.”

“Good.” It was the only thing that needed to be said. I smiled. Bucky returned it and leaned back.

“Now, rest, Natasha. You need it.”

“Nat.” he looked at me for a long moment.

“Nat.” he murmured.

\---x---

In the morning I was allowed to go home and was showered in concern from everyone, even Sam. Bucky didn’t intervene since we had spoken in the night. But Papa and Nate were worried and did not like the fact that I had put my life at risk with nothing to save me. I returned that Bucky and Sam had been there, winking at the men. Papa thanked them again but was still a little mad at my lack of concern for my own life. Bucky responded that he’d been the same and all the argument flew from his mind with a hearty laugh.

The rest of the week went on without a hitch and Sunday soon arrived. Mom and her siblings were cooking while Nate and I prepared everything outside. It was a beautiful spring-on-the-cusp-of-summer day so I had dressed a sundress, white with a few tiny roses.

Papa was sitting outside, enjoying the sun, since his kids never let him move a finger on Sunday lunches, when I approached him. He smiled that brilliant, beautiful smile at me. I sat beside him. “What’s on your mind, darling?”

“I was wondering…” I paused, took a deep breath and looked at him again. “I was wondering what you would think about me asking Bucky out.” I held my breath for the few seconds it took him to reply.

“Like… On a date?” he asked, somewhere between bewildered and confused.

“Yes.” I said in an exhale.

“I think you should ask him and not me, sweetie.” He smiled again.

I shook my head and turned more fully to him, taking his hand. “He’s your best friend. I need to know what you would think…” my voice died with the words.

“Nat, I am glad you want to spend time with him. He deserves happiness. I don’t know where you two can go, only time will tell that, but if you think, no, if you want to ask him on a date, do it. Ask him and see what his answer will be. I’m not getting in between anything you two might have, I know how good you two are. He is probably the only person I would entrust you to.” He squeezed my hand, the soft smile making crinkles appear in his eyes, which were shiny with joy. He kissed my forehead. “Go ahead, sweetheart. I knew this moment would come, you were always fascinated with him when I told you stories. See where that leap of faith takes you. You’ll never know if you don’t try. I know that from experience.” He laughed to himself, his eyes lost in memory. I kissed his hand and nodded. He was right. I had to try.  
Sometime later people knocked on our door and my brother went to open. I went with him. I was expecting Sam and Bucky, having completely forgotten that Nate had invited his friend, Alex, to join us until he opened the door to the young man. His black hair was styled in a purposefully messy way, one lock of half falling over his hazel eyes. Alex was smiling from ear to ear, as always.

“Hey, man!” he said, hugging my brother before turning to me. “Hey, Nat.” he said softly, hugging me. I knew of his crush on me and sometimes it ached that I didn’t correspond to his feelings because he was really sweet. We just weren’t meant to be. He didn’t insist, taking a no for an answer in stride whenever he tried asking me out on a date.

“Hey, Alex.” I answered. “Glad you could make it.”

“To free lunch at your place? Always! Your Mom is a wonderful cook!” he laughed and pretended to drool. When he looked back at me his eyes were glinting.

Before Nate had time to close the door, because, yes, we were talking in the hallway with the door still open, we heard the sound of a motorcycle and then it was stopping in our driveway. Sam and Bucky were here. We waited until they were at the door.

“Hey, kiddo.” Sam said, giving me a quick hug. “I’m Sam.” He said to my brother and his friend.

“Alex.”

“Nathan, but everyone calls me Nate.” They introduced themselves.

“Hello.” Bucky said in turn, waving awkwardly. “I’m James .” He seemed to prefer that to Bucky… I wondered why.

“Bucky, Sam!” Papa said as he entered the hallway. Fierce hugs, that had me a tad concerned for my grandfather’s bones, ensued. “Come, come meet the family.”

While Papa introduced his friends to his family, the boys and I went outside. “Who are they?” asked Alex.

“Family friends.” I responded casually. Nate nodded.

“Huh. I’ve never seen them or heard of them. But if you say so.” He shrugged and smiled, moving on to other topics. Alex was my brother’s childhood friend, he easily became family. They were only five years older than me, but Alex had always been around, I had no memories without him, we had played together, and that contributed to his love being unrequited. He was more like an older brother to me, words that he loved and hated to hear, I knew.

“So, are you going to enjoy the rest of the time without classes or are you going to work?” he asked my brother.

Like so many others, he had been caught in the middle of his degree when the worse came to pass and most of the universities had reduced courses drastically. His bachelor’s degree had been interrupted but now that people were back, he was pondering going back. He had been working in a bakery in the past five years, while I continued mt education. The past two years I had been working in a bookstore. People still needed their escape from reality.

“No, man, I’m going to keep working for now. I still haven’t decided if I’m going to enroll. Things are still a little shaky…” he answered with a shake of his head. He was squinting his eyes as he looked at the sky.

Alex started to give his two cents to the conversation when I noticed the three men coming back to the back yard. Murmuring an “Excuse me.” I got up and walked to Bucky. “Hey, mind if I speak to you a minute?” he nodded and I turned, walking a little away from the table.  
“So, I know this may be a little forward and all, but things have changed a lot since the 1940s.” I rushed to say as soon as I turned back to him. Bucky laughed and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Calm down. Breathe. Talk slower.”

I repeated what I said at a more normal pace, my heart racing and a little afraid of the outcome of my speech. “I would like to know if you’d like to go out with me.” I tried to keep my eyes on him, but they kept roaming, unable to fixate on his for long.

“I am going to need you to clearly state what you mean by “go out” because I’m still not caught up on today’s expressions.” He gave a small awkward laugh and I knew, I just knew what his answer was going to be…

“I mean going out on a date.” I stated slowly. Bucky was not laughing now, was just nodding as I was telling him about the weather.  
“I’m flattered, I am, but… I’m going to have to turn you down.” I nodded but didn’t move, didn’t take my eyes from him. He was looking uncomfortable and it was my fault, but I could not possibly move. I had tried and I had also crashed and burned. “Next to you, Nat, I’m a dinosaur. What are you, eighteen?”

“Twenty.” I mumbled.

“Look, I like you, you’re a nice person and you are cute,” the “but” loomed before me like a rock being hurtled at me. “but I’m way too old for you, I’m almost 100… I… I can’t do that to you…”

That hit me harder. “I’m the one asking, not you. If I asked it doesn’t matter how old you are.”

Bucky’s demeanor changed and he tried a different approach. “You are Stevie’s granddaughter. I couldn’t do anything with you… Had I gone back with him, had we had a normal life, I’d be your grandfather, one of his kids’ godfather…. Possibly yours… I can’t…” he took a deep breath and looked at me. He kind of looked in pain and I took a step back, embarrassed by my behavior, my insensibility. “I… I’m sorry, Nat.” I nodded and tried for a smile, which I feared looked more like a grimace. I felt my cheeks hot as furnaces.

Sam intercepted me on my way inside the house. “Everything alright between you and Bucky?” I nodded, desperate to go to the bathroom and wash away my embarrassment. And just thinking I still had the entire lunch to go through… I should have left it for later. Sam did not let me leave. “What did you talk about?” when I didn’t respond, he tried again. “You can trust me, I’m not going to judge or mock.”  
I looked at him, still mortified. He gave me an encouraging smile. “IaskedBuckyout.” I rushed, pinching my lips into a tight line as Sam’s brow went from furrowed, as he tried to understand me, to normal, when he understood me.

“What did he say?” I shook my head. “He said no?” he tried to understand. I nodded. Sam sighed, exasperated. “Excuse me while I’m going to kick his ass. He walked past me to where Bucky still stood, talking in hushed tones with Papa. “You idiot!” Sam screamed, smacking Bucky in the chest. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Everything all right, Nat?” Alex asked, reaching my side.

“Yeah, all is well.” I smiled sweetly at him. Part of me regretted immediately when his face turned soft like that, but the other part liked when he looked like that… It was a war, a confusing one, at times.

“I was thinking, do you want to see a movie on Friday night? I saw they were playing old movies next week.” He had already talked to my brother, I was sure. He knew he was a sucker for old movies, just as much as I was. Papa was probably invited too!

“Of course! Dinner and a movie?” I knew how much it sounded like a date, saw a flash of sadness cross his face before he smiled brightly again.

“Sounds like a great plan! Your bookstore is closer, so meet there?” I nodded.

“Lunch is ready, people!” Mom said. Whatever conversation was happening halted as people converged on the table.

Papa was at the head, Sam and Bucky on each side. It was good because like that I could completely avoid further embarrassment when talking to Bucky. Lunch was a cacophony as always. It was the perfect time to share stories with the next additions. And of course, this family always started with the most embarrassing ones. I could barely breathe and lunch took forever because no one wanted to choke because they were laughing so hard. It was so familiar, it was like Sam and Bucky had always been here. It was fantastic, it lasted forever.

It ended too soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, work has been taking my every spare second...

It was late afternoon when the table started to be cleared. The people who cooked had been dispensed, as always, and even though my brother and I had set it and it would be rude for guests to work we were all working. And somehow it had ended up being only me and Bucky outside.

He sighed loudly, came around the table and leaned back on the table, reaching for me and asking, “May we speak?”

Startled I looked up. “Of course!” I took a step closer to him, slipping on hand on his. He looked down at our hands before speaking.  
“I…” he stopped. I understood where this was going.

“You don’t have to say yes just because Sam and Papa forced you to.” I tried to take my hand from his, but he tightened his grip, looking back at me.

“Steve didn’t force me to do a thing.” He laughed to himself. “He just made sure that I understood that he only wants our happiness and that if we found it together, he’d die a happy man. He basically gave me his blessing to date you.” I shook my head, but a small smile was playing on my lips. Yeah, that sounded like Papa.

“Still, you don’t have to feel like you need to do anything because he gave his blessing.”

“No, but Sam reminded me that since we met you, I’ve talked and wondered about you a lot.” He shook his head appearing as if he had no idea why he was admitting such a thing. Then Bucky took a steadying breath as his gaze fell back to our joined hands. “This is going to be lame as all hell, but when we met, I felt… something with you, about you. I can’t explain, but I’ve wanted to get to know you ever since.” His voice dropped and I had to take a step closer to him, our legs now pressed together, to hear him. “At first, I thought it was because you were the first woman, I felt even remotely attracted to since I fell off that fucking train. Then I thought it was because you were Stevie’s family and I wanted to get to know you because of that. It actually took Sam telling me it was my brain telling me that after such a long time I was finally feeling normal.”

He sighed deeply. “But after such a fucking long time, after everything I went through, things that I remember and others that are still coming back to me… I’m afraid of taking any step forward. Even starting to work with Sam wasn’t easy, so how could I expect it to be easy to develop a possible romantic bond?” he looked up at me, pleading. “I’m scared I’m going to ruin everything with you, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, be the wrong thing. That you’ll hate me and that Stevie will… I don’t know… I’m so old for this. You are so young. You deserve someone your age, not some messed up man with one metal arm.” I placed my hand on his cheek, hearing how his voice sounded choked and raspy as he fought tears.

“Whatever issues you think you have don’t matter. We are not rushing into bed together, we are not starting a romantic relationship, we are going to go as fast or slow as we want. We will start by being friends. And forget what I deserve. What I deserve is to be with whomever I want and who wants to be with me.” I gripped his chin, locking his gaze on mine. “If you want to be with me, if you want to be friends with me and see where this can go, great. I want that too. If you don’t want that, that’s fine too. I’m not going to feel rejected or angry because of that. We can’t force others to like us.  
“One thing I can tell you, I felt something when we met, too, like more like a connection than an attraction. Although the fact that you are very attractive helps a lot.” He snorted and I smiled at that. “I want to try if you’re willing. Regardless of the age difference, regardless of possible timelines. So what do you say?” my bravado died on the last phrase, turning shy.

Bucky got up and pulled me to the door. Looking around I noticed the table was clear, only the tabletop remained. I didn’t remember anyone else there while we talked. “I say we could go for a drive…?” he looked at me waiting for an answer. I only smiled broadly and nodded. We waved a quick goodbye, letting Mom and Papa know we’d be home later and running outside. I grabbed my leather jacket from near the door, the nights were still chilly and driving a bike would be windy.

“How much will you Mother want to kill me for taking you on a bike ride?” he grimaced a little as he secured a helmet on his head while I dressed my jacket.

“Not at all! Papa bought one in his youth, taught Mom to ride, but she is not a fan, and taught me and Nate. I have mine in the garage!” I winked. “You’re safe.”

“Sounds like Stevie.” He laughed. Then he extended the keys to me. “I’m trusting you with my bike. Don’t ruin it.” He said in a threatening tone. I squealed and hugged him.

“Really?” his bike was amazing, big, black and menacing. I wanted to drive it so bad!

“Really. Hop on.”

I did not need to be told twice. Bucky sat behind me and looped his arms around my waist. My heart fluttered with the adrenaline. I hadn’t felt this excited about a bike ride in a long time. Revving the engine, I drove us away from the neighborhood and into the busy-again city. Bucky’s hands quickly fell on my legs, preventing the dress from billowing in the wind. We drove around the city with no real destination for over an hour and it felt glorious to do that. So perfect and right. His body was molded to my back, and I swear I could feel the energy thrumming not only in my veins but his.

When what felt like an eternity had passed, Bucky tugged on my dress to indicate when I should turn and too soon we were back in our little town. I parked the bike, not ready to share him with family yet, and turned it off, pulling the helmet from my head.

“Do you happen to feel like eating ice cream?” I asked a tad shyly.

“Sounds good. Where too?” I grinned broadly and climbed off the bike after him. There was an ice cream parlor near a park so we headed there.

“May I ask you something?” I turned my head to him. He nodded, pulling me to him as a family with a baby’s car passed us. My lips turned up mischievously. “How much of a player were you, back in the day?”

He laughed, hand still on the small of my back, radiating warmth. “I was never a player! I never played girls! I only gave them what they wanted.” He waggled his brows and I laughed, a soft blush creeping up my cheeks. “No, seriously, I mostly took them dancing and to the movies and I always let them initiate whatever they wanted. And I always did my best to include Stevie, so he had a girl with him. He was always the awkward type though.” His smile was soft with distant memories.

“Always the gentleman, huh?”

“Always. I never treated a girl like they seem to do nowadays.” He frowned.

“How was it like in Wakanda?” my voice was just above a whisper now that we had walked into the crowded ice cream parlor.

Bucky blinked at the sudden change in topic. “It was… Well, it was a peace that I never knew before, you know? I was always in fights because Steve was always getting into fights he couldn’t possibly hope to win. Then I was in the army, the Howling Commandos… In Hydra… I never really knew that kind of peace, especially after I joined the army.” He sighed, tired to the bones.

He didn’t speak again until we were outside, our ice creams in hand, moving toward the park nearby. “For the first time in years I wasn’t fighting. I was just in the middle of nowhere, in a hidden country, taking care of animals and getting back to myself. When King T’Challa came to me to ask me to fight… I just said yes, because what else could I have said? I couldn’t say no to the person who had helped me so much, nor could I say no to Steve.” His tone was dark and so tired that when we sat on the grass, I made sure to sit glued to his side. But then a short breath that vaguely resembled a laugh escaped his lips. “I wasn’t going to let that idiot get killed alone.”

There was a long silence then, our ice creams melting in their cups. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I didn’t dare speak, I had a feeling there was more he wanted to say. “Of course, like before, I was the one that ended up dying…” a tear escaped my eyes at the low tone, at how pained it sounded. I couldn’t help but wrap my free arm around him, my chin on his shoulder as I looked at his profile. I regretted bringing on this topic…

I heard him take a deep, shaky breath before he looked at me, his lips pulled up in a fraction of a smile. He was trying so I changed the subject, bringing a piece of blueberry ice cream to my lips. “So vanilla, huh? I didn’t peg you for a vanilla type of guy.” I mocked.

He laughed, but it sounded frail and a tad forced. Bucky shook his head and took a spoonful of vanilla and chocolate to his mouth. “You must think we had all the colors of the rainbow back in our day, no?” he shook his head again, and this time the laugh was stronger. “Pink and blue ice cream. This girl is crazy.” He spoke to the distance.

I scrambled to my knees beside him, took a chunk of both colors and placed it in front of his mouth. “Open up.” He frowned one eyebrow at me, as if he thought me crazy in reality. “Be a big boy, Sergeant, and open that pretty mouth of yours.” I said sweetly, seeing a shiver run down his body as his mouth opened. His eyes never left mine and I saw him begrudgingly accept that my ice cream was delicious.

“Moving on to lighter topics.” He started as I sat sideways and he pulled his knees up so I could lean on them. The movement was so synchronized with mine that it almost felt like we knew each other for ages. “What’s up with you and Alex?” his tone was perfectly neutral and I didn’t really know what to think of it.

“Nothing.” I occupied my mouth with ice cream but, looking up, I saw Bucky’s brow up in question and had to sigh. “Nothing. But he has had a crush on me for some years now…” I spoke softly. Around us were some people, couples and groups of friends, and parents with children enjoying the last of the sun for today. We were just two more people there.

“Of course he has. Like him there are sure to be dozens more.” I laughed, no looking at him and finishing my ice cream. We cleaned out mouths and I gathered the garbage, getting up to put it away. When I came back, Bucky was lying on his back, eyes closed. I laid on my side, head propped up on my hand, hair falling on his chest. “What did you say to him?” he asked, one eye peeking open then falling closed again.

For a long moment, I said nothing. Then, “I told him I loved him, but not that way. He has always been a brotherly figure to me… He’s my brother’s best friend, has been around my entire life…” Bucky cringed.

“Poor kid, opens his heart to the girl he loves, and she tells him she sees him as a brother.” He opened his eyes to me. “Even I knew that’s horrible, Nat.” still, he huffed a laugh.

“I know, I still feel horrible… He hasn’t gotten over me, but how can he get over someone he sees almost 24/7?” I sighed and tipped my head to his shoulder.

“Not even when you were dating another?” he asked, a hand coming to rest on the nape of my neck.

I tilted my head up and shook it. “No, but then again he only saw me once with another guy and I wasn’t with him for long.” I lifted my head a little, but only out of stubbornness because I could feel my face flaming with the words climbing up my throat. “I was with the guy for three months when I was about 15 and it was mostly kissing and groping. I didn’t want more because I didn’t feel a… a spark with him, like I thought I should feel with the guy I would have sex with, so…” the thought hung in the air a bit before I finished it. “Alex saw that, asked about it even, why I was with someone I wasn’t in love with and I had no answer for him. But that question was enough for me to break up with the guy…”

I was still blushing tomato red, but Bucky only caressed my cheek. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed about anything. Don’t forget you are talking to a guy who hasn’t had sex since the ’40s. You are perfectly fine!” the self-consciousness bled away with laughter and it was once again perfectly fine.

Then Bucky looked at me with such intent that my cheeks pinked for an entirely different reason. “Penny for your thoughts, Sergeant?” I whispered, unexpected sultriness taking over my voice.

“I can’t decide if I should kiss you now or just tease you…” his answer halted all thoughts. His husky voice and his soft fingers still on my neck didn’t help.

“I thought you thought this was wrong…?” I wanted to berate myself for saying such an idiotic thing, but his tone, his expression didn’t change.

“The problem is the exact opposite, this feels perfectly right and that’s what scares me.” His fingers pressed my skin as his face clouded over and pinched in worry. “I felt this way two times before and both times doom was looming around the corner.” I waited for more. “The first time was when Stevie and I were with the Howling Commandos destroying armies; I fell off that fucking train and almost died. The last time was while I was in Wakanda and then another war came calling and I died…” I leaned closer, kissing the tears falling from his eyes. “I don’t want to die again. I want the life Steve got, I want the opportunity to live like that. And I’m scared that this is going to end horribly bad…” somehow I felt like I understood him. Not because I had ever gone through the things he did, but because I was scared to lose the first spark I had ever felt in my life.

“We can be scared together…” I whispered, lips close to his. “I’m scared too, but we can try if you want, we can take everything we want like it’s going to be taken from us in the next second. It’s your call. I want this, I want to try to see where this can go, but only if you want it too.” I whispered.

For a moment time seemed to stand still. And then Bucky closed the space between our lips. It was soft and out of practice and it lasted a lifetime. It was a chaste kiss, neither of us trying to have more. We just pressed out lips together and breathed. We didn’t move more than that for a long time. At long last, our lips separated with a soft sound and he looked at me.

“You know, I have no idea how to do this in this century. I have no idea how to do lots of things after all I’ve seen. I’ll be overprotective and I’ll manhandle you and I’ll probably be a lot of things that are not alright. But I beg you to be patient with me. To help me navigate this world.” Another shaky breath. “I’m broken still, I’m not the man Stevie most likely told you about.”

“I don’t want the hero or the legend or the Bucky from stories. I want you. The person you are now, even with all that baggage. I want to get to know you.” I murmured.

“Even if I’m a mummy next to you?” a shaky laugh.

“I’ve always found mummies fascinating.” I replied, earning a real laugh. “We’ll take things at our pace, and who knows what the future may bring?” he smiled and nodded.

“Okay. I think that's good.”

I was leaning down to kiss him again, taste the vanilla-flavored lips again when someone shouted his name. “Barnes!” we turned to look. Sam was climbing out of my brother’s car and making his way to us. “We are needed back at HQ, so get your ass moving!” I didn’t wonder how they had found us, Papa and Mom had made sure that we could always be located, so they had given us watches with GPS systems. Kidnappers beware.

Bucky let his head thump back against the grass. “I told you, things like this are short-lived!” I got up and gave him my hands, pointless as it was. I was tiny next to him! He got up and dusted his clothes.

“Wait! Before you go, would you like to go to the movie theater? Me, Alex, Nate and possibly Papa always go to the old movies weekend, which is going to be next week. Would you like to join us, Friday? Dinner and a movie?” I was rambling a little…

“Man, I haven’t been to the movies in decades!” he sighed longingly. “Yes, I’ll join you.”

“Great!” I smiled broadly. “Meet us at Heavens Bookstore at six on Friday! Don’t be late!” I poked his arm.

“Sure.” Then he leaned down and hugged me. “I’ll see you then.” Then we made our way to a very impatient-looking Sam.

“Sorry to cut your time short, but we really need to go… We’ll come back on Sunday! See you then, Nat.” Sam kissed my cheeks and Bucky waved as they jogged to his bike.

I climbed into my brother’s car. We were almost home when a thought entered my brain. “Hey, Nate, Alex talked to you about movie night next Friday, right?”

My brother looked at me for a second before his eyes returned to the street. “Uh, no, he didn’t. Why?”

“Shit… You need to come with us. I thought he had talked to you and possibly Papa, or we’d talk to him, and I asked Bucky.”

“Shit indeed, sis. Yeah, of course I’ll go, and we can talk to Papa and see if he wants to join. I will not let you burn alone, don’t worry.” He kissed my hand when he parked. “Next time, though, don’t assume.”

“We always go together!” I complained.

“Yeah, but you know how Alex feels about you… And even though he knows how you feel, he still has some hope…” Even Nate looked sad about the fact. It wasn’t easy and after Alex and I had talked it had been awkward for months…


End file.
